KimSIGHTS Archive 2022

#57 Dropping Weight Self-Sabotage Series – Part 1 of 7

This series looks at seven ways we sabotage our efforts to shed the extra pounds.  I wonder – which ones apply to you?

Sometimes we eat junk food when we are hungry, thinking that this will fill us up.  It is so easy to reach for the chocolate.  I know I’ve done this.  For me it was those Ghirardelli squares of peppermint bark.  I love them!  When I was hungry, I would grab a few squares – or six.  They were so convenient, so why not just reach into the bag instead of taking time to eat properly?  I’ll tell you why not – they didn’t fill me up and I would still have to eat a regular meal. 

The result of doing this habitually was I gained at least ten pounds that Christmas.  Not only that, but it also cost me the price of a few new pairs of jeans, and it did not feel good to add more weight to my already overweight body.

I knew the scale would continue to rise if I didn’t stop, so I did.  But did the weight drop off?  No!  My body was perfectly happy to hold onto the extra weight.

I turned to healthy food, but the pounds stayed put, until I found a method that actually made my subconscious mind my ally.  With hypnosis, I was able to work with my subconscious mind to reprogram my weight set-point and stop putting food in my mouth when I was full.  Finally the extra pounds started to melt away automatically.

#58 Dropping Weight Self-Sabotage Series – Part 2 of 7

Another way we self-sabotage dropping weight is we refuse to turn down food when it is offered, even when we don’t really want it. 

There are many reasons we do this:  It tastes good,  Grandma offered it to us, we are at a party and everyone else is eating.  No matter the reason, when we refuse to turn down food, we are not honoring ourselves or our bodies. 

How to combat this?  Be willing to treat yourself as you would your best friend.  It is easy to help others refuse food, so why not do the same for yourself? 

When I am offered food that I don’t want to eat because it does not support my weight goal, I tell myself, “I don’t really want that.  What I really want is a slim, fit, happy, and healthy body.” 

Easier said than done, you say?  You think you don’t have will-power?  It takes willpower to eat when you are not hungry.  It is a decision that you make to ignore your body.  Your body is your best friend, so talk kindly to yourself, and treat yourself as you would someone you love.

#59 Dropping Weight Self-Sabotage Series – Part 3 of 7

Do you ever start out the day eating lightly, doing a great job at restricting your food intake, but then by the end of the day, you are ravenous and eat and eat?  You start out feeling great about yourself, but you end up feeling like a failure.

After constraining myself all day, I found myself compensating after dinner.  I could rationalize that I did good all day, so I could have that extra helping, or eat that dessert.  I would stuff myself in the evening.

The problem with this strategy is it has two detrimental effects.  1)  By eating within the last few hours before sleep and going to bed with food in the stomach, the body spends its time meant for rejuvenation and healing instead by directing its energy to digesting food.  And 2) when calories are restricted for any length of time, the body assumes that food is in limited supply and fears there will not be enough to sustain life, so it slows down its metabolism to conserve energy in order to survive.

A much better approach is to plan ahead so we eat our last meal at least a couple hours before we plan to lie down.  We can adjust the amount of food according to how hungry we feel.  The best plan is to listen to our bodies and eat according to our hunger signals.  Trusting our bodies is key.

#60 Dropping Weight Self-Sabotage Series – Part 4 of 7

Another way we sabotage ourselves is when we are around people who are not watching what they eat.  We see everyone eating birthday cake, and we feel deprived.  We want to fit in.  So we join in and eat that piece of cake – and maybe another.  It’s a celebration after all!  But then the feelings of guilt and shame set in.

The best way I’ve found to handle this is to have some cake and to feel okay about it.  I can eat unhealthy food I enjoy, but limit how much. 

Studies show that when you have negative emotions about what you are eating, or feel bad about yourself when you eat certain foods, it actually makes it worse for your body. 

So now I eat with joy, happily limiting myself to a few bites and really enjoying those bites, and finding that this is very satisfying.  Changing my emotions around eating and applying common sense, I found that I am able to control my eating habits.

#61 Dropping Weight Self-Sabotage Series – Part 5 of 7

When we focus only on aerobic exercise to burn fat, we are missing out on a key piece of dropping weight – strength training. 

Studies show that the key to increasing metabolism is having more muscle to burn those extra calories.  Resting metabolism is directly correlated to the amount of muscle you have.  

Just dropping weight did not give me the physically fit body that I craved.  Not until I incorporated exercise including weights did my body start to take shape!  It helped me to finally drop those last bits of flab.

Adding weightlifting to our regimen will aid in our efforts to shed weight.  Not only that, but it also promotes stronger bones and gives us that physically fit look we are really after.

Start lifting weights every other day and let me know about the results you see!

#62 Dropping Weight Self-Sabotage Series – Part 6 of 7

When we over-restrict ourselves, we get bored and resentful.  This is not a good motivator to keep up a healthy lifestyle.

When I let my goal be to eat healthily 90% of the time and allow myself the variety of foods that I love, I found that I could stick to healthy eating habits most of the time.  I could go out to eat with friends and enjoy what I wanted because I counted that as a 10% meal.

Another strategy that worked for me was to eat healthy food before I went to a party, enabling me to enjoy a little bit of the foods on the buffet without going hog-wild.  And this didn’t cause the negative emotions that usually came with eating too much unhealthy food.

#63 Dropping Weight Self-Sabotage Series – Part 7 of 7

Have you ever blown your healthy intentions for the day and decided to forget about limiting unhealthy food for the rest of the day?  I’ve been there, done that, figuring I will just start over tomorrow.  I expected to be perfect, and I felt like a failure when my plans went awry. 

Now I have a better attitude, knowing I won’t be perfect and I’m okay with that.  I’m not perfect in other areas of my life, how can I expect to be perfect with my food choices?  Now when I give into a craving, that’s okay because I can get back on board with my healthy eating lifestyle right away.  When I expect to eat well 90% of the time, not all of the time, I am not thrown off by a moment of indulgence.

#64 Seven Keys to Dropping Weight Series – Part 1 of 7

In this series, I share seven keys I found to finally let go of excess weight.  The first is pretty simple – stop eating when full.

In the past, I would think about what dessert I would eat when I finished my meal.  It didn’t matter whether I was already full.  And what if I had a choice of which dessert I wanted?  Well, I would pick one and eat it.  But then, I might still have a craving for the other one.  Have you been in my shoes?  What did you do?  Did you eat a second dessert, like I did?

So, what to do about it?  Three alternatives. 

1) Sometimes I would stop eating sweets for a while.  I found that my sugar cravings abated after a couple weeks.  Then it was out of my mind.  A good choice.

2) When I eventually got back in the habit of eating sweets (maybe my husband brought home something really yummy), another way was to eat my dessert first.  Have you ever done that?  Yes, not a very healthy choice.  But I did eat less of my healthy meal.

3) Studies show it takes 10 minutes after the stomach has had enough food for it to register in the brain.  Not until I did the special hypnosis technique for weight did my subconscious register it had enough food as soon as I swallowed enough food to keep me healthy and well.  Then my desire to eat more food off my plate was gone.  It felt very empowering.

You can experience this powerful feeling yourself. 

#65 Seven Keys to Dropping Weight Series – Part 2 of 7

Another key I found to releasing extra weight was to reprogram my weight set-point.

You see, somewhere along the way, we subconsciously decide what is the right weight for us to keep us safe, whether that means healthy, or to keep men away, or whatever.  And then, it’s hard to budge much further below that for long.  After all, our subconscious’s job is to keep us safe. 

For me, I remember ordering a jacket through the mail (this was before the internet).  I bought a Medium.  I wore medium-sized tops, so that should fit me.  When I tried it on, the sleeves were too short.  I said to myself, I guess I’m a Large.  I returned it in exchange for the bigger size.  From then on, I told myself I was a Large.  I actually was just a taller-than-average woman with longer arms, but I put it in my head that I was a Large.  And my subconscious produced exactly what I told it.

So, you can work on reprogramming your weight set-point, if you can figure out how to get your subconscious on board with that.  I tried affirmations and a lot of ways, but the scale didn’t budge until I talked to my subconscious and asked it to get on board with my weight goal.

And you can do that too.  You can pick your weight set-point, within a safe range, and get on your way to shedding the extra pounds. 

#66 Seven Keys to Dropping Weight Series – Part 3 of 7

The third key to shedding the extra weight is to remove toxins from your body.

The body has a great way of keeping toxins away from your vital organs.  Unfortunately, it is by storing them in your fat.  Your subconscious’s job is to keep you safe, and it is not going to let go of fat if it will be detrimental to your health.

The good news is, you can start right away to reduce your load of toxins in your body – stop putting them in.  Drink clean water (no chlorine or fluoride, or plastic bottles), eat unprocessed food without pesticides and herbicides, and avoid additives and artificial sweeteners.  Use fragrance-free detergent and toiletries.   I could spend pages telling you about common toxins to avoid, but you can do your own internet search.

Once you stop putting more in, you still need to get out what is already in your fat.  That’s where heavy metal cleanses and liver cleanses come in.  You can do this with real food, and just a few supplements.  If you want to know how I did it, contact me and I would love to share that.  Keep in mind I am not a medical professional.  What can you do today to lessen putting toxins in your body?

#67 Seven Keys to Dropping Weight Series – Part 4 of 7

Another key to saying goodbye to those unwanted pounds is to stop wanting to get rid of them.  Yes, you read that right.

When we focus on extra pounds, we keep the extra pounds.  Our subconscious thinks that what we focus on is what we want.  It sounds crazy, but I bet you’ve been focusing on those extra rolls and they are still there.

Instead, love your body just as it is.  When you look at your body, visualize it the way you want it, not the way you see it.  I would look in the mirror sideways, and cover my protruding belly with my hands to make a slimmer profile visible to my brain, and say, “That’s me!”  I would also stick my elbows out away from my body so my arms would appear thinner, since they were no longer squished against my body, and say, “That’s me!”  I would look at my wedding picture on the dresser and say, “That’s me!” 

In the shower, I would admire my body, and know that underneath the layers of fat, there was that past figure I once knew.  I would just love my thighs, and tell them I loved them, and I’d love to see those slim thighs underneath.

Hey, it works, and it’s free.  Try it!

#68 Seven Keys to Dropping Weight Series – Part 5 of 7

As my weight went down, I hit a plateau and realized another key to dropping weight – release the negative emotions around doing so.

For example, I had to release the fears I had about failing to reach my target weight.  What if I dropped the weight, then gained it back – how embarrassing would that be?  I also had to release the fears I had about successfully reaching my target weight.  Yes, successfully.  How would my life change?  Or not change, like I thought it would?  What if I dropped the weight and my life didn’t improve?  Then I would have to face the fact that my problems were because of me inside, not because of the extra weight outside.

One of my last realizations was I had to let go of feelings of guilt.  I had to stop feeling guilty that I was dropping weight and people around me were not.  My friends were not (yet), and I felt guilty looking great and showing off my cute figure around those that were still overweight.

I’m curious to know what emotions you hang onto that are keeping your excess weight clinging to your body.  Please let me know what you think!

#69 Seven Keys to Dropping Weight Series – Part 6 of 7

Our beliefs about our ability to be our ideal weight are key determiners in how successful we are at dropping weight. 

For example, we must believe we can do it.  We must believe we are ready.  We must believe we are deserving to do so.  And we must believe we will still be safe.

Our subconscious mind is in charge of who we are.  It is what heals us.  It is what drives us.  It is what creates our physical bodies.  We must get it on-board with who we want to become.

A couple other beliefs we need are that we would love to do it, and we expect to be able to do it.  We can’t have any doubts in the background.  Finally, we must believe we are already in the process of dropping the weight.  And we might as well tell ourselves that it is happening easily and quickly.  We are in control of our minds, so let’s use them to our advantage.  It’s your mind, so use it the way you want.

#70 Seven Keys to Dropping Weight Series – Part 7 of 7

The last key to reducing excess weight that I’ll mention in this series is to create empowering self-talk.   I’ve alluded to this throughout this series, but I want to leave you with this:

Your mind believes what you repeatedly tell it.  If you focus on what you are now, you will continue to see that.  If you focus on what you want to see as if it is present now, it will create that.

Your mind is always listening to the words you say and the pictures in your head.  Keep a photo of yourself at a lesser weight than you are now in view every day.  Look at it and tell your mind, “That’s me!” 

When you get on the scale, most likely you are either happy or disappointed.  Great!  This is called an “emotional spike” and you can use it to bypass your conscious mind and slip a suggestion directly into your subconscious mind.  I like this one:  I am in the process of dropping the excess weight easily and quickly.  Do this anytime you start laughing, or anytime you are upset.  Have your suggestions ready for times such as these.

This concludes this series.  I always limit my series to seven, but I could have listed more.  I’m curious to know if you have any strategies that help you get and maintain a slim, fit, happy, and healthy body.  Please share!

#71 Seven Keys to Loving Yourself Series – Part 1 of 7

Stop Criticizing Yourself.  Criticism never changes a thing, whether it is toward yourself or another.  So refuse to criticize yourself.  Criticism just reinforces what you don’t like.  Instead, focus on what you do right.  Don’t expect perfection; love yourself exactly as you are.  When you accept your mistakes, you can laugh at yourself, learn from the goofs, and do better next time.

#72 Seven Keys to Loving Yourself Series – Part 2 of 7 

Forgive Yourself.  Let the past go.  You did the best you could with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had at the time.  When you look back, you have already grown and changed, so you obviously would make different choices if you had it to do again.  Go a step further and realize this is true for others as well, which enables you to forgive offenses made by other people.

#73 Seven Keys to Loving Yourself Series – Part 3 of 7

Praise Yourself.  While criticism breaks down your inner spirit, praise builds it up.  Praise yourself as much as you can.  It’s not an egotistical thing – it’s focusing on what you do well, so you can have a healthy sense of self-worth.

#74 Seven Keys to Loving Yourself Series – Part 4 of 7

Focus on the Good.  Stop terrorizing yourself with fearful thoughts of what “might” go wrong.  Imagine what will most likely go right.  What you focus on is more likely to happen anyway.  As Mark Twain said, “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”  Focus on pleasant thoughts and enjoy your life.  Deal with what comes when it happens.

#75 Seven Keys to Loving Yourself Series – Part 5 of 7

Take Care of Your Body.  What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality?  I am a big fan of listening to the body.  It will make you feel good when you eat what it needs, and it will make you feel heavy, tired, and blah when you don’t.

What kind of movement do you enjoy?  Make time in your day to show your body that you love it.  Not only will you flush out cortisol – caused by stress, but you will release endorphins – the feel-good hormones.  Plus, you’ll look better.

#76 Seven Keys to Loving Yourself Series – Part 6 of 7

Have Fun!  What did you enjoy as a child?  What do you enjoy now?  Incorporate those things into your life more.  Find a way to have fun with everything you do.  How can you make it a game?  Let yourself express the joy of living.  Smile.  Laugh.  Enjoy!

#77 Seven Keys to Loving Yourself Series – Part 7 of 7

Love Yourself Now.  When you wait until you get well, lose weight, get a new job, or­ find a new relationship to be happy, you are focusing on the fact that you don’t have these things now.  That keeps you NOT having them.  Loving yourself comes first.  This high-vibration will attract those things you have been waiting for.

#78  Self-Questions for a Happier Life #1 of 7

Am I taking care of my physical needs first?

Everyone has hygiene and health needs, but are you getting the touch you need?  Hugs and caresses are vital to the human psyche.  Pets are great substitutes for this, as long as you feel a connection with the animal.

#79  Self-Questions for a Happier Life #2 of 7

Am I punishing anybody because of how someone else treated me?

We all do.  It is human nature to have thoughts meant to keep us from re- experiencing a past tragedy.  The key is to notice our actions without judging them as good or bad, and to discern which shift in approach is optimal.

#80  Self-Questions for a Happier Life #3 of 7

Am I growing personally and professionally?

We all must grow because we cannot be stagnant.  Life is not still; it is either growing or decaying.  Which process are you in now?

#81  Self-Questions for a Happier Life #4 of 7

Do I have security in my life?

We all have the desire to know what is going to happen next.  That’s why some of us love routines.  If you feel you do not have the sense of calmness about your safety, it is time to make a plan.  It does not have to be elaborate, at least jot down your intentions of where you want to be in a year and go from there.

#82  Self-Questions for a Happier Life #5 of 7

Do I know what I want to accomplish?

Go in your heart – what do you love?  What did you love as a kid?  How can you share that love with others?  Think outside the box.

#83  Self-Questions for a Happier Life #6 of 7

Am I assuming things?

Our brains are wired to perform shortcuts based on past experiences.  This can be great or not so great.  Things change.  We make original incorrect assumptions, thinking we are so smart.  Dump the assumptions, give the benefit of the doubt, ask for clarification.

#84  Self-Questions for a Happier Life #7 of 7

Who is being selfish?

Am I being selfish not doing what someone wants me to do, or are they being selfish by insisting I do what they want me to do?  Who is being selfish?

#85  Changes in Perspectives #1 of 7

This series is intended to help bring you joy because you will focus on a more enjoyable – and more helpful – way to look at things.

The first change in perspective is going from “have to” to “get to”.

For example…Do you say you “have to” pick up the kids?  Or do you “get to” pick up the kids?  Which feels more enjoyable?  How can you focus on the gift that picking up the kids brings you?  How can you use that time to the fullest?

Change your perspective, then the feelings around the situation will change.

“Nothing is more expensive than a missed opportunity.”

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

#86 Changes in Perspectives #2 of 7

Today we continue to change our perspectives to live happier lives.

Do you think that life happens “to” you, or does it happen “for” you?

When you consider that every part of life is helping you to grow, or is a blessing, then you look at life differently.  You see the lessons that will help you in the future.  You see that you can choose how to respond to a situation.  You see that nothing is “bad”, but rather, it just is what it is.

Choose to see life as happening “for” you, and you will find more joy in life.

“Perspective is everything when you are experiencing the challenges of life.”

Joni Eareckson Tada

#87  Changes in Perspectives #3 of 7

More perspective talk today:

It’s hard to find solutions when we keep focusing on the problem.

If you keep looking in one direction (the problem), how can you see the solution?  Step back, seek what options you have to resolve the issue, and choose the best solution.  In other words, focus on the solution.  If you can’t see another perspective, this is the time to ask for assistance from a wise person in your life. 

Ask for a solution and you shall receive.

“It’s not only moving that creates new starting points. 

Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift in perspective, an opening of the mind, an intentional pause and reset, or a new route to start to see new options and new possibilities.”

Kristin Armstrong

#88  Changes in Perspectives #4 of 7

This change in perspective is something you may never have thought of.

When someone hurts you or wrongs you in some way, consider that this person must be themselves hurting in order to do that to another.  As the saying goes: Hurt people hurt people.  If you find some compassion for this person who is hurting, and what this person must have gone through, you shift how you see this other person.  You get out of self-centeredness.  And you can let go of the perceived offense done to you and move on happily and carefree.

So next time someone hurts you, remember with compassion that they must have experienced a deep hurt that would cause them to treat you that way.  Then release your negative feelings and get on with your day.

“It’s useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one.”

Terry Pratchett

#89  Changes in Perspectives #5 of 7

A change in perspective can mean a realization that you don’t always say what you really mean.

For example…When someone asks you to do something, do you say, “I can’t” when really you mean, “I won’t”?

Be honest.  Sometimes you could if you wanted to.  Plus, when you say “I can’t”, you are telling your subconscious that you are incapable.  Does that sound like a good idea?  I think not.  So next time, just tell it like it is.  Plus, you’ll actually respect yourself more, and you will receive more respect as well.

“A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way.”

Allen Klein

#90  Changes in Perspectives #6 of 7

Do you come from the perspective that you need to wait to start something – to take action – to make a change – until you feel “motivated”?

Well, you may be waiting a long time because motivation is an external push.  It relies on someone or something outside of you.  What if that push never comes?  What if you can find a bigger purpose to what you want to do, and instead of finding motivation, you find your inspiration?

Inspiration comes from within.  It is a higher calling.  It is a pull energy that brings you toward what you want to accomplish.  If you are not inspired, maybe it’s not for you to do.

Consider whether you really need to be motivated, or you need to change your perspective, dig deep inside, and find your own inspiration.

“Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. 

Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.”

Ella Fitzgerald

#91  Changes in Perspectives #7 of 7

This last idea about perspectives goes against the current trend of political correctness.

We are told to “tolerate” people.  What if I told you that I “tolerate” you?  How would that make you feel?  Probably not too great.  Instead, let’s “accept” people for who they are.  Let’s honor our differences. 

I accept you.  Doesn’t that makes you feel better than being “tolerated”?

Let’s accept each other.  It is much easier to live with one another that way.

This concludes this series on changing perspectives.  Do you have any ideas you would like to add?  Please respond to this email.  I would love to hear them.

“I don’t go by or change my attitude based on what people say.  At the end of the day, they, too, are judging me from their perspective.  I would rather be myself and let people accept me for what I am than be somebody who I am not, just because I want people’s approval.”

Karan Patel

#92 Beware of What You Ask – #1 of 7

When I hear people express their desire to meet their soulmate, I cringe a little because I wonder if they really understand what they are longing for.

To me, a soulmate is a true love and someone you can always turn to.  Someone who loves the same things, who sees the world the same way you do, and who wants the same things in life. 

However, a soulmate is also someone who will help you grow.  This may be done in an intense way – challenging your patience, bringing you lots of ups and downs, and teaching you what no one else can.  It may be the hardest relationship you ever encounter.  It may not be all peaches and cream.  It may be roses with thorns.

Perhaps what you really dream of is your perfect mate.  Someone with whom you always get along.  A relationship that is easy and goes with the flow. 

Maybe what you really want is an ideal partner or companion.

Of course, you can choose to ask for a soulmate, and your relationship might be easy-going – or it might not.  It may truly challenge you, but be extremely rewarding. 

I just want you to be aware of what you really are asking for when you pray for your soulmate. 

Think about it.

In any soulmate relationship, you will need to let go of the illusion that there is a perfect person waiting for you who will fulfill your every expectation and give your personality everything it desires once you are together.  Do not expect your ideal soulmate to be someone who is always loving and easy to get along with, who agrees with everything you say or do, and who brings you a life of ease or comfort.

Sanaya Roman

#93 Beware of What You Ask – #2 of 7

Most of us ask for more money.  Boy, it would be nice not to have to think about a budget, wouldn’t it?

The thing is, you get what you focus on.  And mostly when we think we are focusing on money, we are actually focusing on our lack of money.

Especially if we have debt (which I like to call an outstanding balance), we are focusing on paying off debt.  That means we are focusing on debt and our lack of money.  And when we focus on lack, we get more lack.

This is really tricky.  I admit I’m still working on mastering it.

One mistake we make is focusing on abundance, because we can have an abundance of crap!  What we really want is prosperity.

Another mistake we make:  If you consider the amount of money we have as existing on a continuum – like a stick with lack on one end, and prosperity on the other, even if we are focusing on prosperity – we are still focusing on the stick with lack on one end.  The fear of lack is in our awareness.

My understanding:  The best way to create prosperity is to forget about money and focus on the feelings and experiences that money can bring us.  Like peace, independence, that family trip, or great memories.

Or, we can totally focus on another stick – such as the charity stick and help others create prosperity in their lives.  That will create a feeling of prosperity and invite that into our lives.

So where are you focusing? 

That is what you are bringing into your life.

Make your goal more than money.  Make it about helping people and creating a better future.

Maxime Lagacé

#94 Beware of What You Ask – #3 of 7

Of course, what I am about to say does not apply to every situation, but many people get divorced, wishing for a new, better relationship. 

Sometimes the problem with leaving a dysfunctional relationship is your next relationship has the same issues as the last.  You’ve heard the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”?  You may leave one unsatisfying relationship and find yourself back in another similar one.

What to do about this repetitive outcome? 

Work on yourself in the current relationship before moving on to the next.  Engage in self-improvement so you don’t carry the same issues into the next relationship.  Think how much your next partner will appreciate you working out your crap before you even meet.  (Hopefully they do the same.)

One surprising benefit of doing this is you may find that when you change your attitude or your perspective, your current partner changes too, and you both end up loving the relationship you already have.

Just something to consider.

When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.

Paulo Coelho

#95 Beware of What You Ask – #4 of 7

Some people seem obsessed with finding a lesson in every hardship.  This is a great practice, but it can be taken to an extreme.

Why?  Because you get more of what you focus on.  If you are always looking to find a lesson and asking why something happened to you, then life will give you lots of instances to learn lessons. 

Why not just go with the flow and not always have to find a lesson in everything?  That seems the best option to me.

Be careful what you ask for.

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life:  It goes on.

Robert Frost

#96 Beware of What You Ask – #5 of 7

Many single people dream of an intimate relationship.  Cozy nights together.  Someone to talk to and share their day.

But then they express their love for their independence.  For example, they can leave the house a mess – because who will see?  They appreciate the ability to paint their walls pink if they choose.  They are glad they get to make all the decisions regarding raising their children.  They enjoy their autonomy as a desirable way to live.

Do you see the contradiction in their focus?  They are wishy washy – seesawing from one desire to the opposite.  And as I’ve stated before, you get what you focus on. 

So if you focus here, then there, then back to here, nothing changes.  The Universe always says “Yes!” to your predominant focus, but you keep flip flopping!  You don’t give enough time for what you want to come to fruition.

Decide how you want to live – independently or in a partnership – and think accordingly consistently.  That is the way to attract the life you desire.

What do you really want?

If you keep changing your destination, you never arrive.


#97 Beware of What You Ask – #6 of 7

Lots of people I know are wanting to lose weight.  I understand they want to shed excess fat, but your subconscious mind takes what you say literally.

What if you lose your wallet?  Do you instinctively want to find it again?  I bet you do.  And similarly, your subconscious mind takes what you say literally and wants to find those extra pounds you “lost”, causing your weight to fluctuate like a yo-yo.

The solution is simple – change your wording. 

Suggestions to say instead:  Drop the weight.  Shed, melt away, or reduce it.  Let go of it.  Get physically fit.  Slim down.  Shape up.  Feel attractive.  Whatever it is you actually desire.  Focus on the end result, not the process to get there.

Be careful what you ask for.

Weight is not something to lose, it is something to leave behind.


#98 Beware of What You Ask – #7 of 7

I’ve mentioned how the subconscious mind takes the words about what you want literally.

Here’s an example to help you keep this in mind.

Let’s say you have been working hard at work.  You long for some needed time off.  So you tell yourself, “I need a week off in bed!”

That sounds harmless.  It even sounds desirable.

But what do you suppose might happen?

Your subconscious mind may say, “A week off in bed?  No problem.  I can do that for you!” 

And you end up in bed for a week with the flu.

Your mind is very powerful – don’t underestimate it.  It is always trying to give you what it thinks you want.

Be careful what you ask for.

I hope this series has made you think carefully about what you want and what you ask for.  Because you just might get it!

Be careful what you wish for because you will get it. 

Be even more careful what you work for because you will get it even more quickly.

Colin Cunningham

#99 Why Diets Don’t Work – #1 of 7

Have you ever decreased the amount of food you ate and increased your workout in an effort to drop weight?  And maybe you got some results, but you couldn’t reach your goal weight?  Or if you did, did you gain it all back?

Well, that’s because there’s more to shedding those extra pounds than calories in and calories out.  There are mental and emotional components that block you from ridding yourself of unwanted pounds.

This series covers some of the reasons we hold onto excess fat.

Reason #1:  We overeat certain foods we crave because we associate good feelings with the food. 

Perhaps grandma always made those awesome chocolate chip cookies for us.  We could feel her love for us whenever we ate those cookies. 

Now, we associate those good feelings with the food.  And when we want to feel like that again, we turn to that food.  We can’t resist.  If we turn down an offering of cookies, we are turning away grandma’s love.  And we just can’t make ourselves do that.

Maybe we aren’t even aware of an emotional connection we have made, but when we get a hankering for a certain food, we will move heaven and earth to get it, like, NOW!

Fortunately, rather than try to suppress a craving, there is a tried-and-true way to end those cravings once and for all, so you don’t need to eat food to feel good.

Stay tuned for next week when I’ll talk about another emotional block to dropping weight.

#100 Why Diets Don’t Work – #2 of 7

Last week we talked about why we crave certain foods.  This week is about the difference between cravings and emotional eating. 

Reason #2:  Maybe you are stressed out and just want to eat something.  If sweets are in the house, or perhaps something salty or crunchy or creamy, you’ll go for that, but if not, you’ll eat a can of beans or a bag of carrots because that’s all there is. 

This is called Emotional Eating.  It’s when we hunger for food though we aren’t hungry, and any kind of food will do, whether it’s healthy for us or not.  We overeat because we are bored, stressed, or avoiding feeling an unpleasant emotion.

While cravings are for a specific food related to trying to get back the good feelings and memories (seeking pleasure), emotional eating is not food-specific and is related to trying to not feel bad feelings (avoiding pain).

Fortunately, there is a tried-and-true way to end emotional eating for good.  You can learn to push food away without feeling deprived.

If you are interested in learning how to deal with cravings, emotional eating, and other blocks keeping the extra weight on, please let me know by replying to this email. 

In addition, I would love your input into what you think are your blocks to dropping weight so that I can address them in a course to eliminate these.  Just reply to this email.

#101 Why Diets Don’t Work – #3 of 7

Continuing this series, let’s talk about another reason why diets don’t work.

Reason #3:  We overeat because as kids:  

·       We were told we have to finish everything on our plate before we can have dessert or leave the table. 

·       We were trained to eat all of the food in front of us because there were children starving in Africa or China. 

·       We were mentally programmed to eat all the food in front of us because we don’t know when or where the next meal is coming from.

I say “programmed” because we were taught how to think and behave by our caregivers.  We trusted them to know what’s best for us because we had no choice – we were so young and just trying to figure things out for ourselves.

“Cleaning our plate” led us to no longer listen to our body’s cues as to when we had enough to eat.  We learned not to “waste food”.  We learned not to “waste good money” that was spent on food.

Well, I’ll tell you this:  When you eat more than you need to be healthy, whether it goes “in the trash” or “on your a$$” (notice the rhyme there), it is still wasting food. 

If it is difficult for you to save it for later or just throw it away, there is a tried-and-true way to end the need to eat everything on your plate. 

I would love to hear what weight issues you face to possibly be included in my course dealing with hidden blocks to why dieting doesn’t work for you.  Please reply to this email and share your thoughts.

#102 Why Diets Don’t Work – #4 of 7

In previous weeks, we talked about why we have food cravings, why we emotionally eat, and why we override our body’s cues.

Reason #4:  Another reason, probably beneath our awareness as to why we hold onto excess weight, has to do with what happened before we gained weight.

Here’s an example.  When we were thin, we were dumped by a lover.  After that, we ate to fill that emptiness we felt, and we gained weight.  Of course, we got fat because of emotional eating, but subconsciously, we have linked being thin to being dumped.

And it felt pretty crappy to have been broken up with, and we unknowingly fear that if we are thin again, we will experience that pain again.  It’s true that it may reoccur, so we sabotage ourselves and don’t let ourselves get back to that ideal weight.  It would just hurt too much to go through that again.

It didn’t have to be because we were dumped.  It could be due to a myriad of things.  Think back to what was going on in your life before you gained weight.  What are you avoiding happening again?  What trauma occurred before you put on extra pounds?

Thankfully, we can re-program this “defense mechanism” of your mind and allow your body to return to its natural weight.

Let me know if you are ready to 1) curb your cravings once and for all, 2) push that food away when you aren’t hungry, 3) stop eating all the food in front of you that will just go to you’re a$$, 4) deal with the issue that preceded your weight gain, and more!

If you are interested, just reply to this email now, and we will set up a free call to make sure this course is right for you.

#103 Why Diets Don’t Work – #5 of 7

This week we talk about how our human nature can cause us to hold onto extra weight as a reaction toward our authority figures growing up.

Reason #5:  Have you ever told yourself you will NOT eat the ice cream/chips/whatever.  You do great for a couple days, or maybe only a couple hours…but then you give in.  Why?

You are rebelling against an authority figure in your youth and their rules given to you.  And this unknowingly carries over into rebelling against your own rules for yourself.

It is not a lack of will-power that causes you to break your good intentions, it is a conditioned response to rules.  Yes, they were your rules, but they were still rules that you gave yourself.  This leads to the all-too-familiar self-sabotage.  We just can’t help ourselves!

Fortunately, this too can be dealt with.

If you suffer from this hidden block, I can help. 

My Drop the Weight Method will teach you to 1) curb your cravings once and for all, 2) push that food away when you aren’t hungry, 3) end eating all the food in front of you that will just go to you’re a$$, 4) deal with the issue that preceded your weight gain, 5) stop self-sabotaging your weight reduction efforts, and more!

If you think this program is for you, or you have any questions about it, just reply to this email and we’ll schedule a complimentary, no-obligation call.

#104 Why Diets Don’t Work – #6 of 7

Sometimes our weight issues go all the way back to before we can even talk.

Reason #6:  When we were pre-verbal, usually before the age of two, we could not easily ask for what we needed.  Our only means of telling those caring for us that we were hungry was to cry. 

Maybe we were understood, maybe we weren’t, maybe our needs were ignored, or maybe there just wasn’t enough food in the house.

So, our subconscious mind, always striving to keep us alive, worries about when the next meal will come.  It thinks:

·       You better eat all you can now, because who knows when you will get another chance?

·       You better hold onto fat (the body’s emergency energy source) because you may need it at any time.

Could this “safety feature” of your subconscious mind be affecting you?  The good news is, there are ways to overcome this block to living at your ideal weight.

If this block applies to you, you may be interested in the Drop the Weight Method where you will learn to 1) curb your cravings once and for all, 2) push that food away when you aren’t hungry, 3) end eating all the food in front of you that will just go to you’re a$$, 4) deal with the issue that preceded your weight gain, 5) stop self-sabotaging your weight reduction efforts, 6) overcome pre-verbal weight issues, and more!

If you think this program is for you, or you have any questions about it, just reply to this email and we’ll schedule a complimentary, no-obligation call.

#105 Why Diets Don’t Work – #7 of 7

We have covered six reasons why diets don’t work, and now we come to one that affects almost all women.

I’m talking about traumas associated with body boundaries.  These can be big Traumas with a capital “T”, or little traumas, with a little “t”; but nevertheless, these can affect our ability to maintain a healthy weight.

Reason #7:  Big “T” Traumas, like being raped, can make us feel unsafe to be thin and attractive.  If we are fat and not as attractive, we feel safer.

Little “t” traumas, like experiencing unwanted sexual attention, comments, or ogling, can be just as effectual in hindering our ability to be slim. 

Little traumas can be Aunt Jane repetitively commenting on how cute and chubby you are, or simply a little boy on the playground telling you that his glasses have super powers and he can see through your dress. 

When your brother always called you fat, whether you were or not, that kind of thing can stick with you and make you think of yourself that way.  Repeatedly being told something negative about your body can program your body to appear the way it is currently presenting. 

Anything that makes you uncomfortable about your body is violating your body boundary.  No one should be touching you, looking at you, or commenting on your body in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.

To keep you alive and well, our subconscious mind forms a literal layer of protection to “keep you safe” – safe according to its way of thinking. 

The mind is so powerful, it will block us from getting rid of excess fat because it thinks it is doing you a favor. 

We can heal that and feel safe being thin and sexy.  There is hope!

If you are affected by this huge block to dropping weight, this is the time to join my unique program called The Drop the Weight Method that heals the hidden blocks to reaching your ideal weight.

Please reply to this email and let’s talk!  Don’t delay – space is limited.